The Way Things Are

Oh man! What do you do when you sneeze? Cover your mouth, right? I just did and then continued to type. Then I began to think, "How many other people at this library have done the same thing?" I don't think that the librarian comes through with an antibacterial spray to sanatize keyboards. If they clean their keyboards the same way they clean their bathrooms, I am in serious danger of getting hepatitis. Just wanted to let you know the ways things are.

Garlic boy...

Whoa whoa whoa. I was recently attacked by an ill-informed citizen of the United States. It would be wrong of me to assume that this so called "Garlic boy" is even a U.S. citizen, since it says nothing about his citizenship in his user profile. For the record, I AM a U.S. citizen. Here is the article to be discussed today.

Driving is a Right!
I was checking out the Toast Addict Chronicles this morning and I noticed that Toast-Addict had an entry in his blog defending an auto parts store. Here is the entry that we will be discussing today:

I am not sure if I like or dislike Pep-Boys yet. The fact that every time I have been to The Boys' place, I have had to wait for over 4 hours to have something done to my car. I realize that a car is a real privilege and that 4 hours isn't that bad to wait for a car repair.While on the subject, I think Pep-Boys should change their name to Pepe-Boys. I think that they would look a lot better wearing sombreros and that one guy already has a really cool moustache. Good work Pepe-Boys.

There are 4 main problems with this short blog entry.

First, owning a car and driving it on the public roadways is a right. Everybody knows that. Driving a car is a practice so deeply rooted in the traditions and history of the people of the United States that to deny it would be to deny the people of this country justice and liberty. To deny a United States citizen of the right to drive his car would shock the conscience of all English speaking people.

Second, the Pep-Boys don't actually exist. They never did. They are a marketing device that the evil auto parts store uses to manipulate you people.

Third, how can you wait 4 hours for them to do something to your car? They aren't mechanics. You buys stuff from them and then you take that stuff and you do stuff with that stuff to your car.

Fourth, this sentence doesn't make any sense: "The fact that every time I have been to The Boys' place, I have had to wait for over 4 hours to have something done to my car." It should say, "The fact that every time I have been to the Boys' place, I have had to wait for over 4 hours to have something done to my car has caused me to seriously injure over 349 Pep-Boys employees." Or maybe, "The fact that every time I have been to Pep-Boys, I have had to wait for 4 hours to get the part I need makes me so mad that I quit eating toast altogether."

Anywho, before you defend them, remember, Toast Addict, that auto-parts stores have been sued over 500 times in the United States alone for fraud, murder, satanic worship, and racial discrimination. Mostly fraud though. Peace.

I can't even believe that I have dedicated so much time to such rubbish. Let me first say that I admire Garlic boy with all of my left foot and wish the best for him and his loved deprived law school students wife. I can just imagine him. Lonely in law school. The only thing sadder than his short stature is his sad face and long greasy hair. His pudgy fingers miss the keys on his keyboard sometimes and so he has to satisfy his frustration by taking it out on others poor grammer. I can see him now, entering his minivan; his resentful tooshie on 3 phonebooks so that he can see over the steering wheel. Poor Garlic boy. I feel for you.

Allow me to explain, my dear friend, that for me, driving is a priveledge. Here in Not-so-pefect-ville we have an evil Car Czar that reigns with an iron fist! As we are not so priveldged to have our own cars, the Car Czar uses the bit of pity he has left in his heart to lend us his boss' cars. I can only hope that some day you will find me, Garlic boy, and take me away to your perfect law school world. Until then, please do not assume that I support the Pepe-Boys. I only want to keep the car that I have. With all of my left foot....

Pep-Boys

I am not sure if I like or dislike Pep-Boys yet. The fact that every time I have been to The Boys' place, I have had to wait for over 4 hours to have something done to my car. I realize that a car is a real privilege and that 4 hours isn't that bad to wait for a car repair.
While on the subject, I think Pep-Boys should change their name to Pepe-Boys. I think that they would look a lot better wearing sombreros and that one guy already has a really cool moustache. Good work Pepe-Boys.

Why the Gridiron hurts

Cause it's made out of iron! I played football today to celebrate USC's win over the Sooners. Man does it hurt! It was a lot of fun though.
Other than that it has been pretty uneventful. I ate a huge bowl of Cap'n Crunch today. I know what you are thinking. "What happened to the toast?" Don't worry. I ate the Cap'n for lunch! Happy new year everybody.

A Feast

Why do I seem to always start my diets at the wrong time? Before thanksgiving? What was I thinking? My mother once told me that calories don't count on holidays, but how much of that can you believe?
I got questioned over the phone by someone in Utah about what my news preferences are. Where I get my news from, etc. Wrong person to ask. I think I may have singlehandedly screwed up their entire survey. In a way I felt bad, but then I went to Sonic and got a milkshake and it made me feel better. Eat a lot for me.

This Morning

I went to a friends house nearby to do some laundry because I don't have a washer and dryer in the apartment. Can we focus on that for a little while? I think the first step in becoming a real person is to own your own washer and dryer. Maybe not the first step, but one of the top ten. Back to this morning.
After finishing my laundry I realized that we didn't have any bread at home. So I stopped at the Publix to buy some white bread; the only bread suitable to make cinnamon and sugar toast. So I hop in the shower, obviously to wash myself, and let my roomate practice his cinnamon and sugar skills. F- for him. He buttered the bread, put some sugar on top and then sprinkled the cinnamon on top of that and put it in the stove. Man! I thought everyone knew how to make cinnamon and sugar! You mix it first! It is a must. And the bread is to be toasted before you butter it or it just gets all soggy. Oh well. There are worse things in the world than soggy toast. Well, maybe not.
Other than that, a pretty normal day. I will try to write less about toast in the future, but just remember that I love toast.

An introduction, if you will.

I wake up every morning the same way you do. I look like any other stranger you see on the streets. But I can't quit the toast habit. Toast for breakfast. Every morning. The best toast you could ever have is white toast topped with butter and apple jelly. The butter isn't necessary, but if you want to make your toast a work of art, yes, it is necessary.